I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
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You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
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You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
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