I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
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