When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Randomize