marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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