I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
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