he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Randomize