Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize