i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize