He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
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