i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
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I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
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