that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize