Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
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