Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
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