Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
What did we do last night that was yellow?
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
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He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
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We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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