Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
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