marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Randomize