the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
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We tried having a conversation with our noses.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
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It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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