I met the friendliest cop last night
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
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