I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
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