i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
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