oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
I seem to have left my pride at pride
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Randomize