My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Randomize