Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
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