i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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