Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize