Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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