You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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