just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
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