Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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