I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
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The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
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The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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