I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
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