i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize