you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize