i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
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