They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
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