last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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