Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Randomize