thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
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