There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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