I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
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I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
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Please don't give away my fajitas
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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