Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize