Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
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A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
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So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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