If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
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