White coat. Heels.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize