question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
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