i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
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