dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
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