My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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