i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
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