dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Randomize